i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
