Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
