I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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