Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
