Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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