...so i touched it.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize