Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This is my gift to your gina
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
