I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
