Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
