ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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