What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't put those talents on a resume
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
