I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
