I swear she didn't look like that last week.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
