the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
