who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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