Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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