let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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