people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
