I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
