I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
