I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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