hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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