I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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