you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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