Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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