I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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