Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
