I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i think i have herpe
just one?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
