So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize