This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize