I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
