walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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