we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
