I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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