god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
