thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
