She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
