we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
