I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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