He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why do cheetos always look like penises
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
