Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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