You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
