I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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