that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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