: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
