I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
