You really coming over, don't trick.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
