It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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