I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
