didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
