i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
