you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
