Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
