my soul wont recognize me after tonight
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
