i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
