come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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