We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
