the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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