Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
