Will you blow on my dice?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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