final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I look better un-naked...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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