so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
