I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
