Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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